I really don’t fucking care anymore.
I cannot explain how good tonight was.
I’m so fucking unworthy of my piece of shit life. I don’t even deserve to talk to you… I just wanna die. Blow my brains out. Something to ease the pain.
I just want to stab myself in the chest right now.
But why was THAT the pushing point? I don’t get it. I just wanna get it over with and take a bullet to chest. Blow out my heart. Or my head.
I’ve made up my mind. I’m joining the Navy. I’m not giving a fuck about anything that is said to me. I’m doing it for myself. This will give me a good push in the direction I NEED to go in. No friends. No family. Just the people who are there with you on duty. I wanna get stationed FAR away from everyone I know. Nobody shall know me. Nobody needs to know the truth.
Fuck memories. Drink it all away.
The blood feels so good while it flows out of me. It burns, but it’s a nice burn.
Dad, I always thought you were like some superhero. Perfect. Young at heart. Good-hearted, too. But no. After today…what you told me.. I cannot and will not forgive you. You’re weak. I still love you…but………..you were my last hope for fucking humanity. Mom, I love you so much, but you’re weak, as well. Dad told me what you did. I can’t believe you....
No.....no no no no.......
I’ve done it again. Fooled…betrayed…made fun of….damn it………………..
Hahahahahahahahaha….why…do people fucking fail ALL the time? The simplest test. A test of trust. Yet, these friends continue to break it. I use the term lightly, I suppose. As of now. I don’t trust anybody. Fuck everyone. I’ll be fine on my own.
What I mean by "I'm going to bed:"
Lying in bed for hours, thinking about everything, until I get tired.
Why am I happy and sad at the same time? Everything just seems so out of place. I can’t…do this.
Everyday, the question I ask myself is “Why am I living?”
Lol. I don’t deserve to live.
I wasted my time. I stood no chance. Why the fuck did I even try? I’m a fucking joke….
Everyone…just go. I don’t deserve anyone.
Why do I feel this way? Leave me alone…
I don’t deserve any of this…
God I’m a wreck.
Of course, in my mind I don’t get rejected.
How I spend my time: ……… …….. ……. …… ….. …. … .. . Thinking of ways to ask you out
Oh my fucking god. I just thought of the greatest way to ask you out. Fuck yes.
I don’t understand… Fuck. Why does this keep happening to me? Whatever, man. I have ways of dealing with these feelings and these thoughts.
I grew some cojones. Let’s hope for the best and not look back. Say yes please?
The more I think about you, the more I want to be with you. Time to grow some cojones.
I can’t get you out of my mind. Why is your smile shining through the dark of my mind and causing me to smile? You constantly say you’re ugly and nothing is attractive about you. The thing is… I wouldn’t want you any other way. I adore everything about you. The funny thing is, the thing I like most is disagreeing with you about the way you look, but…we all know...
Wtf…. really? Apparently a lot of people had a crush on me during senior year…. WHY THE HELL DIDN’T THEY TELL ME?
I'm going to change myself for the better.
Hello, world. I’m coming at you with a level-minded optimism and a motivation that’ll shatter the pitiful obstacles you throw at me. Nobody to trust except myself.
I know who not to trust anymore.
I woke up to the sound of the woman who thinks she’s my mother yelling at me. Now, the girl I can’t stop thinking about heard what happened on Halloween. Damn it. Why is it so hard for me to do what’s right?
Well, nothing much left for me to do. Joining the marines seems like the better option for me.
I really wanna talk to you right now. It's killing...
I shouldn’t be falling this hard, but god dammit! Just give me some opportunity to talk to you, and I’ll take it. Give me a chance to take you out, and you won’t regret a single thing.
I always disappoint somebody. I wonder what it’s like to have someone actually be proud of me.
I’ve been questioning my existence recently. Do people really take me seriously? If I were to answer that, I would say no. Nobody takes me seriously. I’m a joke to them. However, that changes once they need something, and then when I give it to them, I’m back to being a joke.
Help me out, allow me to truly exist.
I finally figured out why I’ve never been able to get a girlfriend.
I’m crushed by thinking about this so much. Why does it hurt? It shouldn’t…but here I am thinking about it like there’s no tomorrow. I don’t even feel like talking to anybody for a while.
I really need to get this urge to go away.
Why am I so indecisive?
I feel so frustrated. A or B….A or B…
Good night. Oh, such a good night. No worries, no cares, things just flowed through the night. Oh, yes. The kind of night I live for. However, I am upset with one choice I made. Gah, why does liking this girl make me feel this way?? It feels so different.
I really want a kid. I mean, like, I don’t want one right now because I wouldn’t be able to afford to care of it, but I mean, I want to take care of my own child. Feed it, hold it, love it, raise it, etc. I really want to be the best dad there can ever be. I want my kid to look up to me like I’m some kind of superhero or something. I want my little kid to pick me up with its...
I really fucking like you, but it seems like you never want to talk to me. Ever. I’m just that annoying kid.
I am addicted to really bad decisions. I just don’t know if they’re bad or not at the time when I’m forced to make them.